THE LIFE CHANGING BOOK WRITTEN BY STEVE CORNELL

The

18 Year Factor

HOW OUR UPBRINGING AFFECTS OUR LIVES AND RELATIONSHIPS

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Exploring the 18-year factor takes us on a journey back to our childhood home. That journey affords us an opportunity to look closely at how the people, circumstances, and experiences of the past continue to affect our lives and relationships. The message of the well-known saying “Home is where the heart is” conjures up an image of an idyllic childhood home, but that is sadly not the way many people remember their upbringing.

Adverse childhood experiences are the single greatest unaddressed public health threat facing our nation today

Dr. Robert Block,

 Former President of the American Academy of Pediatrics

The 18 Year Factor Reviews

Insightful look at the effects of the most formative years of life.

As someone who comes from what the author would describe as a "good family", I appreciated the insight on how events during the most formative years of life play out in adulthood. I will certainly look back to many of Steve's observations and proposed 'detox' techniques when giving counsel to others. As an active-duty military parent of pre-teens, the chapters on significant childhood disruptions gave me pause and forced me to evaluate the role my life choices are playing in my childrens' 18-year factor. A worthwhile read for those with a dysfunctional past as well as anyone who interacts with people in our modern society.

First Book I've Ever Read In A Single Day!

This was an awesome book that's a must-read, especially for anyone looking to get married or that's married already. It's chock full of stories and examples of how our most formative years of upbringing impact our lives and relationships well beyond our "18 year factor."

True or False?

Most people understand that their upbringing affects their lives.

True

Answer:

Most people understand how (and how much) their upbringing affects their lives.

Answer:

False

Four Reactions to a Painful Past:

1.  Ignoring the past

2.  Denying the past

3.  Accepting the past (in a self-defeated way)

4.  Perpetuating the past

Reluctant Historians

Men are wired to be reluctant historians of their emotional past. They tend to mask pain behind a perceived obligation to “man up” in the face of hardships. “There’s no time for licking your wounds or wallowing in the past,” they believe—no sense in putting the past up for review because none of it can be changed. Those who travel in close company with these men tend to see things differently. They feel firsthand the lingering effects of their troubled past.

Self-blame

An alternate reality occurs when children accept responsibility for the hurtful actions of parents and other adults. Misreading what happens to them as an indication of something wrong with them, they place themselves at fault for being victimized. A woman in her early forties acknowledged that she finally began to overcome the effects of growing up in a violent home when she realized that what happened to her as a child was not her fault.

BIO

Steve Cornell lives in Millersville, Pennsylvania. Steve has been the recipient of a wide range of writing awards and has over 35 years experience as a counselor. Steve and his wife Becky are parents of four children and grandparents of seven amazing grandchildren.

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